Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
