you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
