what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
