Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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