i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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