No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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