Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
