Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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