Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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