im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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