we're blogging at a bar
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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