just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
