i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im holly from the hills drunk
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
