I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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