in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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