So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You can't just leave with hair like that
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
