your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
