i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
