i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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