Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
