Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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