hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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