Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
