She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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