woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
