I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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