If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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