More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
