have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Panties = found
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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