Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize