names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
