ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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