there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
