like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
