i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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