I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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