I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
