there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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