Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
