My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hippo gnu deer
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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