There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
