There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My ass is underappreciated
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
