I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
