There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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