idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
