We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
