Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who died my cat blue again?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
