This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
