we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He passed out mid-signature
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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