Nicole vs. Life
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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